Have you ever been afraid of something, only to have it come true? Last night I had a terrifying experience. Although I’ve feared being caught in this situation, when it actually happened it took me completely by surprise.

It takes me roughly 90 minutes to travel to the nearest city from my house. Last night my son’s bus from Dublin didn’t arrive into Cork City until nearly 10 pm. He and a couple of classmates had attended the Youth Climate Summit in the capital as part of the One World Week. He had the opportunity to meet Ireland’s United Nations climate ambassadors at the event. It was an informative day of interactive discussions regarding climate change. We were all super tired by the time I collected them, but the teenagers were full of lively conversations on the way home.

I had a coffee for the road which helped keep me alert. My three youngest were with me as well as Mr. T’s classmate. My 2 year old fell fast asleep and missed the drama. Although I know the road like the back of my hand, I missed a turn because viability was poor (and I got distracted by my daughter’s chattering). I realized my mistake and turned around. As luck would have it we were so remote by then that google maps wouldn’t work and I didn’t have phone reception either. Luckily I found my way and we only added about 15 minutes to the journey.

Then the rain picked up. It poured so hard I slowed to a snail’s pace. I could barely see even though the windshield wipers were on full. I couldn’t even tell if the road was flooding. Despite the bad weather, I had fools overtaking me and driving recklessly on the windy, narrow roads.

When we were a half hour from home, we approached an area that always makes me a bit nervous. The rain had lessened so I had picked up some speed, but I was still below the limit. I’m a cautious driver, especially with a carload of kids.

Out of nowhere a giant stag leaped towards my car! I knew better than to swerve and risk losing control of the car. I decelerated as safely as I could, but there was no way to avoid contact. As we collided there was a loud thump. We were fortunate he hit the left wing and headlamp and was knocked sideways. Had he hit the bonnet/ hood he would have smashed the windscreen and possibly endangered our lives.

I’ve been afraid of crashing into a deer for a long time. I had one near miss on a windy mountain road that scared me to death a few years ago. This time I stayed really calm. I didn’t stop the car because there was nowhere to pull in safely. I didn’t have a high viability jacket- only a black coat- and wasn’t about to wake the baby by turning the engine off. The teenagers were all panicked and I just wanted to get them home to bed. My nerves were fraught too although I don’t think it showed. It was such a relief to pull into my drive!

Before turning in for the night, I had a hot toddy. As I sat on my couch and tried to relax, I noticed an image staring back at me from the mantelpiece. That morning I received my first Christmas card in the post. It was from Denmark and featured a reindeer. It looked similar to the stag I’d crashed into only an hour earlier. I kept thinking about the poor creature, hoping it wasn’t suffering. When I told my partner about the ordeal, all he could think about was going to collect it since he enjoys wild venison! I suppose that’s the difference between an urban childhood watching Bambi (me) and a childhood spent growing up on a farm (him).

The ordeal will set me back several hundred euro just in time for Christmas. A new wing has been ordered, and the bumper needs to be replaced. The headlight was fixed today so the temporary job will be ok for short distances. I was supposed to take Mr. T back to Dublin to visit a college this weekend, but that will have to be postponed.

I recently read a blog post which alluded to Carl Jung’s concept of synchronicity. The next day I had the coincidence with the stag and the Christmas card. Jung would say there are no coincidences. I googled stag symbolism just to see if any further significance could be gleaned from the situation.

What is the meaning of the deer totem?

The meanings associated with the deer combine both soft, gentle qualities with strength and determination:

* Gentleness

*Ability to move through life and obstacles with grace

*Being in touch with inner child, innocence

*Being sensitive and intuitive

*Vigilance, ability to change directions quickly

*Magical ability to regenerate, being in touch with life’s mysteries

Quoted from Spirit Animal

As I write this, I’m reminded of the time I went for an iridology session. The iridologist, in addition to telling me helpful information about my health at the time (she was correct), commented that my eyes reminded her of a doe’s. Maybe the deer symbolism is something I should reflect on as this year comes to a close. I don’t know much about spirit animals, but the message imparted with the deer totem speaks to me.

I would like to move through life and obstacles with grace. I, too, would like to be soft and gentle while also maintaining strength and determination in the coming year. I may not be able to bring that stag back to life, but I can at least honor the spirit of such a fine animal, King of the Forest.

This post was inspired by the prompt for Day 6: What surprised you in 2019? To participate or find out more information about #Manifest20 click here.

Featured Photo Credit: Diana Parkhouse